happy birthday to me.
a year older
i am the skinniest i have ever been
with more addictions than ever before
and feeling like i haven’t slept in a year and a half
i used to be so well rested
and so level headed
and look at me now?
i like to think im falling to pieces
but in the most interesting
and best way possible
because everyone falls apart
and i’d rather do it well.
i am not wearing anything
but a blanket
and my skin is frozen over my bones
and my dark messy hair is knotted
and there is paint under my nails
and half full coffee mugs around me
and my stomach is empty.
i am so much more honest with myself
and the people around me
and it’s interesting because
i didn’t used to be able to be like that
but i guess i started to enjoy being depressed
even more so than happiness
because it just feels so much more real
and i guess i just feel more complete
and creative
and interesting.
so here’s to another year
of drinking coffee and
taking photographs
and letting my mind run away on me.












